All-Or-Nothing Approach To Success Makes Failures Of Us All

Is life about winning and losing for you? Are you the kind of person who bets it all on one roll of the dice?

I am a reality TV fanatic. I like the competition, the relationships, the plots and even the backstabbing on some of the shows. I am very aware that most of them are not real at all, but that clever staging and acting are used to make us think they are real. It’s entertainment and that is how I take it.

feeling failure
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The one exception in my mind is The Biggest Loser. I love that show. I find the motivation, the inspiration and the determination really addictive. The Biggest Loser selects some of the largest people as contestants each season and gives them nine months to lose about 50 per cent of their body weight to win the grand prize.

The money isn’t really the prize to most contestants, though. It’s the chance to make their dreams come true. A chance to put their lives on the right track by taking charge and getting healthy.

What would you do if you could make one major change to your life? Would you lose weight, would you take a different career path? What would make that much of a difference to your life as you know it?

And if you weren’t able to do it — if you were unable to do what you set out to do — would that make you a failure?

What I find frustrating is that some of the contestants seem to consider anything less than massive weight loss a failure. It’s as if their entire life rests on their ability to lose the weight.

While most of us do not hinge our success on dramatic weight loss, we still often take that roll-of-the-dice approach on other issues. When you don’t get that job promotion you wanted so badly, do you feel like a failure? If you haven’t found someone to spend the rest of your life with, do you feel like a failure? If life doesn’t look as good as it does in the movies, do you feel like you’ve failed somehow?

We put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to a standard created by society (or television), that we hurt our own self-esteem and self-worth in the process. We compare ourselves to a standard that is unrealistic and we come up short. If we try (by applying for that job, going to the gym or doing something outside of our comfort zone) and don’t achieve a 100 per cent success rate, we deem ourselves to have failed.

rolling dice
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Stop comparing yourself to what society says you should be, and instead create your own measurement system. Stop looking at life as win or lose, black or white, thin or fat. There are many other ways to look at life rather than success vs. failure.

I think that anyone who tries to keep healthy, anyone who applies for a better job, goes on a date with someone new, tries something out of their comfort zone and puts any risk in their life is a winner. It doesn’t matter if they are 100 per cent successful; it’s the attempt that matters.

You are a winner just because you tried! Rolling the dice is what’s important, not what happens after the roll.

– As appeared in huffingtonpost on 5th of April, 2017.

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