Volume 5, Issue 7 - July 2004

Have you heard of the "laws of the universe"? Recently there has been a lot of focus in books and talk shows about these laws. Some of these laws are: The Law of Clarity of Mission, The Law of Give-and-Take, The Law of Expectation and The Law of Attraction.

A couple of weeks ago I was being coached on my marketing materials. We discussed many of the different laws, but the one that stuck with me the most was the "Law of Reciprocity," which states that "like attracts like."

My coach, Deanna, applied that to marketing. While she was doing that, I was thinking about how it also applies to workplace relationships. What can we learn from the law of reciprocity?

If like attracts like, then I am surrounded by people who are like me. You've heard the expression "If you want to fly like an eagle, stay away from turkeys." Essentially, it means that we tend to hang around people who are like us. To get some insight into ourselves, we can look at who we are attracting - those people we like to spend time with, and those who like to spend time with us.

If we find ourselves constantly surrounded by people who are negative, perhaps we are exuding a bit more negativity than we realize. One of the ways to keep negativity away is to constantly turn it around and make it positive. The negative person does not want to hear the positive. She is comfortable with the negative; it is what she gives and what she wants back. Many of us believe that the negative person is dealt with effectively if we just listen and don't give her any feedback. What we often don't realize is that no feedback is just the same as enabling feedback.

If your child said to you "tomorrow I am not going to school" and you ignored the comment, your child might assume he had your implicit permission not to go to school.

If your negative person gives you negativity and you choose to say nothing, you may be implying that you agree, or at the very least, are not disagreeing with what she says. If like attracts like, then we may be attracting negativity by not being positive.

Another way the law of reciprocity works in our lives is in how much we like our jobs. If we love what we do and consider it a privilege to get paid to do what we do, then we typically will spend time at work with people who also like their job. We tend not to spend time with people who hate what they are doing because it is very draining to us, emotionally.

If you are spending time with people who hate their job, you will re-evaluate what you love, listen (almost in spite of yourself) to what your co-workers are saying, and may even feel that some of their comments are justified. Just by being surrounded by constant job dissatisfaction you will automatically start to question your own job satisfaction.

Like attracts like.

It seems that some people get all the breaks in life. They are in the right place at the right time. They get to meet all the right people. They get all the promotions and they seem to get all the glory. Is it that these people are just lucky? Or could they be attracting what they exude?

Deanna made me look at my marketing materials to see what message they were sending and what types of clients I was attracting. Perhaps you also need to have a look at what, and who, you attract. Are you attracting people just like you? Are you happy with it? If not, change what you are sending and you will change what you receive.

Rhonda Scharf (Finniss), CSP is a Certified Professional Speaker, Trainer and Author and President of ON THE RIGHT TRACK - Training & Consulting. Rhonda is available for training and keynote speeches for your organization. Call today at (877) 213-8608 or e-mail Rhonda@on-the-right-track.com. Why not take a moment and sign up here for her complimentary quarterly newsletter.