Volume 3, Issue 3 - March 2002

How Do You Handle Compliments?

"A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly
unless you want to hurt the giver." Ziff Davis

Has anyone ever said to you as you walk into the office "Hey, you look nice today"? What did you respond with?

Many of us think 'oh sure - what do you want?' or 'what did I look like yesterday?' Sound familiar? For most of us it does because we are uncomfortable with compliments.

Statistically, 2 out of 3 adults suffer from low self-esteem, low self-confidence (How to Build Your High Self-Esteem, Jack Canfield). Doesn't that seem amazingly high to you? 2/3rds of the population are unsure of themselves.

Now don't get me wrong, they may not be unsure of themselves in every aspect of their life - but certainly in some.

I will admit that my appearance is one area I'm not as confident as I should be (this is not your cue to compliment how I look either - but thanks for the thought). When someone tells me I look nice, I feel an overwhelming urge to move that compliment to an area where I do have high self-confidence. That area is my ability to shop! I am a professional shopper. There are days when I think that I single handedly keep the economy going! So, if someone tells me that I look nice - I tell them what a great deal I got on the suit, or how much I paid for it! For some reason, I'm comfortable with compliments on my ability to shop.

Yet, if you refer to the quote I started with - I am unintentionally insulting my friend - and I shouldn't throw it away. Do I mean to hurt them - no. Just because I need to work on my self-confidence doesn't mean that my friends need to pay the price for it.

So here is your project for the next month (it takes 21-28 days to start to create a habit). Whenever (and every time!) someone gives you a compliment, say "thank you." End of sentence, period, no more unless it is appropriate. Don't throw away their kindness - unless of course you want to hurt the giver. (I didn't think so).

Rhonda Scharf (Finniss) is a Professional Speaker, Trainer and Consultant and President of ON THE RIGHT TRACK - Training & Consulting and is available to deliver customized workshops or keynote speeches at your next convention. Call today at 1-877-213-8608 or e-mail Rhonda@on-the-right-track.com. Since you are now visiting her site, sign up here for her complimentary quarterly newsletter.